Innocence

We all say we wish our kids could stay little and never grow up.

Their world is currently filled laughter, imagination, and dreams. I know this will not last forever, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I hate that they have to grow up. I hate that they will be faced with hard decisions, and I just pray that they can make the right choices.

I know I complain that they don’t sleep well, they make huge messes in every room of the house, and they whine a lot. But the truth is, I love every minute of it, because it means they are still little. I want to cherish these days so badly, because soon enough they will be teenagers. They won’t want to listen to me anymore, I won’t be “cool” anymore, and we will probably grow apart for a little bit. I dread these days with every ounce of my being. Teenagers are old enough to have a point of view, and I want to be able to understand it…or at least try to hear them out without my “wisdom” overpowering their opinions.

We were all there at one time. I do not regret anything in my teenage years, and I want the same for my girls. But how do we raise them so that they have no regrets? I’m trying my hardest, but sometimes (as I have seen with family and friends) it just depends on the person they have become. You can raise 10 kids the exact same way, yet they will be 10 individual people. They will not all make the right decisions.

THEY ARE NOT LIKE ME. Although they may look and act similar to their daddy and I, my kids are their own people. They have their own personalities. They will make their OWN choices. I can make the majority of their decisions now, but soon enough, they will be in charge of their destiny. This scares me to no end.

In a couple of years, I will hear one of my girls being lovey dovey with some boy (who used to have cooties) on the phone, and I will be wishing I was listening to the soothing sound of toys being dumped on the floor instead. One of them will ask to sleep at a friend’s house, and I will be wishing she is in between us in our bed just so I know she is safe. I wish I could go to every party and every date to make sure they are being wise with their decisions.

Maybe I’m being ridiculous for driving myself crazy about this now, and I know that I should just enjoy the innocence of my girls while they are young. I want to make the right choices as a parent NOW, so hard decisions for my girls later in life will be easy to answer.

I want them to be their favorite princess forever. But what if Cinderella doesn’t come home by midnight? What if Sleeping Beauty’s first kiss is more than just a first kiss? I don’t want to turn into the evil queen and have them rebel on me, but I do want them to understand boundaries. IT’S. SO. HARD. How do you create that fine line between boundaries and freedom?

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