I woke up late this morning, and immediately started rushing. I threw on makeup, brushed my hair, got myself dressed, then headed to wake up the girls. I rushed to put their clothes on, gave them milk in sippy cups, and buckled them in their seats….and we were out the door for 6:15am (it’s usually 6:00am, but like I said, I was running late.)
As we head to their daycare, I hear them chatting in the backseat as they slowing begin to actually wake up. I get behind a bus (the one I usually miss if I’m on time) and mention some “S” and “F” words in my head. Then naturally I get behind the slowest cars ever…and of course they seem to be going extra slow today. I mention some more words in my head that I can’t say out loud. The girls just continue to ramble on about things…most of which I tune out since I’m so obsessed with the traffic at this point.
Then thoughts start coming in my head about what I have to do at work today. When I get home, I can’t forget about dancing picture proofs, we need milk, and I can’t forget to bring the girls to my mom’s tomorrow (since their schedule changed this week.)
Then I hear Kennedy’s voice, “Mom, why you not talking to us?”
I felt so little. She broke my heart. I wanted to pull over and hug them both.
I was so occupied with my busy morning, I didn’t take the time in the car to actually listen to my kids talking. Sure, I heard the noise, but I wasn’t listening. It’s moments like this that I take for granted…and I know I’m not alone. I felt terrible and immediately started asking questions and engaging them in conversation with me. I only have this precious time in the morning to talk with them, and then I have to leave them until late afternoon. I have the entire ride to work to be silent, so the ride to daycare should be full of conversation.
So on the way home today, I plan on blaring the music and being silly – to make up for my inattentiveness this morning. We all should! I will use it as a reminder to let everything go for a couple minutes…and focus on my kids thoughts at that exact moment. Whatever they want to talk about …. Whatever they want to sing….
It doesn’t matter if I forget some other things…those can all be taken care of later…I refuse to let my kids think they are being ignored. So join me in an epic ride home today – they will thank you. :)