You know what I’m talking about. That 30-45 minute race against the clock…the tug-of-war with their mood vs. your mood, and all the hurdles you jump in between.
Event 1: The Awakening
It starts off so peaceful…rubbing their backs, talking so softly, wiping the hair from their faces. A little while later, you may turn on a little light…maybe take the blankets off a bit. Ten minutes later you are shouting at the top of your lungs because no one has moved an inch. They just stare at you. “Why is this woman so paranoid every morning!?”
Event 2: The Gear
You have everything laid out and ready. All they need to do is simply put it on their little bodies. They move at the pace of a sloth. You are watching the clock. MOVE PEOPLE! All hell breaks loose when the line on the sock doesn’t match up perfectly with their toes. Lord, help me. Breathe.
Event 3: The Prep
Everyone is dressed…finally. It’s time to brush their teeth and fix their hair. Compose yourself. This can be bad…or really good. It depends on the beast. You just stay quiet and hope that ponytail holder doesn’t stretch too tight. Say a small prayer the toothpaste comes out of the tube in the exact amount they need. Stay strong.
Event 4: The Finish Line
The end is near yet so far away. Do they have everything in their bags? Did you sign all the papers? Do they need to bring anything special for class today? Your mind is racing. You walk outside to wait for the bus. They are cold. They are hot. It’s too foggy. The sun is in their eyes. It’s too dark. They are sweating. Two more minutes until you can breathe.
Finally the bus is coming down the street. Someone yells they have to pee. Seriously? Another race…did they not feel this urge in the past 30 minutes? Deep breaths.
They are finally on the bus to school…you kiss them and wave goodbye. Then here comes the guilt that you feel…you could have been calmer…maybe more patient. You could have run a better race.
Event 5: The Aftermath
You go back inside to chaos that’s left. Pajamas on the floor, toothpaste smeared in the sink, unmade beds, papers on the counter, dishes in the sink, and towels on the bathroom counter. You don’t have time to clean any of it, because you need to get to your actual job.
I feel your pain! And let’s not even talk about dress down day when this entire routine is thrown off. By the time I get to my “normal” job, I truly feel like I ran a marathon….twice….and the only medal or trophy I have to show for it is the stress on my face and the bags under my eyes.
Stay strong, team. We can do it!